The worst thing at the moment, honestly, is this feeling of having my head in a fog. It's like... pictures of a mountain, with the crown in the clouds, but the peak rises above it all. I just can't break through the clouds to the peak. It's affecting decision making, comprehension, concentration, focus... even my emotional state. Like I want to be really... I don't know, depressed, frustrated, angry?? But I can't even muster the energy to feel anything that extreme. I know that the way I'm feeling and thinking is really not good, not healthy, but I just can't work up the emotion to match the situation, if that makes sense.
What's alarming is, after talking to my mum, she reminded me what my specialist said last time about all this. According to her, the forgetfulness, the lack of concentration etc is not really due to the narcolepsy. She thought it could be ADD or something. FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, how many friggen mental disorders can one person have?? I have OCD, narcolepsy and generalised anxiety, which is tied in with the OCD. I mean, I'm a smart girl. Not a genius, but I know how to use my brain, and I know a lot of stuff. I'm just so afraid that whatever all this is will stifle my mental capabilities to the extent where I can't learn, can't expand my knowledge, can't appreciate scholarly pursuits like I always have. Right now this fog is making everything so much harder to do. Hopefully something, or someone, can let the sunshine in soon.