I've been reflecting on the year that's been a little bit, thanks to some extremely lovely messages I've been receiving via my blog contact form. Firstly, thank you so much to those who have taken the time to email me. I have tried to email a few people back who have asked questions, but your email addresses have bounced my emails back! So please, particularly if you are the person who emailed asking me about my specialist, email me again with your correct address so I can respond! I'm happy to answer any questions people send my way, if I remember...
Because that's one of the things I've been thinking about while I've been reflecting on the year in narcolepsy. This was triggered by an email I received from someone was said they read about my experiences and was relieved to see that I was doing okay. And I thought... actually, yeah, I am doing pretty okay.
The negative side of things is that I am perpetually on medication, I am tired all the time, I often have to leave parties early and my memory is gradually getting worse (although that may be due to other factors too). I always have to fight to get myself out of bed (except tonight, annoyingly) and I will never be able to work full time.
HOWEVER
What an awesome life I have! Not to brag, but... I got married and bought a house this year, something I never would have been able to do without my extraordinary and supportive husband. My part time work is very fulfilling, and I basically get to spend my work time playing music, acting and dancing, whenever and however I want. My cat is fantastic. I found out this year that if I got pregnant, I wouldn't have to be off Modafinil for the whole pregnancy - just the first trimester, which I wasn't expecting. And I have excellent friends, a lovely new family-in-law, and time to spend outdoors with the birds. For a person who could easily be classified as 'disabled', I get around pretty well.
I guess this was the main purpose of this blog - to show that a narcoleptic life is not one that has to be spent under the covers. Yes, I have various difficulties, but doesn't everyone? Talking with a teacher friend of mine this year, she said that she came to the conclusion that 'Everybody has something.' Meaning that everyone has their own burdens to shoulder. She has Chrohn's disease, but figures my narcolepsy to be worse, but then there are other people with cancer, or diabetes, or grieving the loss of a loved one, or however many other things. I guess it means that illness shouldn't be a competition. It shouldn't be about whose symptoms are worse, who's in more pain, who deserves more sympathy. Everyone is going through their own trials, and for that, deserves respect and understanding, at least. At most, there is always someone worse off than you. As crappy as my narcolepsy is, at least I can still work, drive, maintain a relationship, be optimistic about the future. There are some people who don't even have those simple things in their lives.
So, I guess I still reserve my right to vent about life's little difficulties, but on the whole, I know that I have it really quite good. It's all just a matter of working with what you have, and not getting bogged down by what you don't.
Here endeth the lesson.