Things are starting to settle into what my life is going to be like for the next 3 months or so, at least. Uni has officially started, by distance in my case, and work has gotten past the crazy mental summer part of the year and returned to normal. It looks like this is basically what my days will consist of.... work, study and sleep.
At the moment I don't think I'm doing too well at any of it, to be honest. Study has just started and MAN it is hard to just sit for an hour and read and write and resist to urge to nap. I could kill for a nap right now, but I'm going to use it as a reward... once I've studied for an hour then I'm going to crash out. What makes it more difficult is the subjects are haaaaaard. Why oh why did I ignore everything about science when I was in high school??? Try as I may, at this stage all I am reading is 'blah blah blah molecules blah blah blah ionic compound....' But I will try, if only so I can eventually get to the science I am actually interested in.
Work is now starting to suffer from my sleep issues. Sleep has been really weird lately. Last night and the night before I slept really lightly, waking up all the time, lying awake thinking about miscellaneous crap... Luckily today is a day off so I can waste a little time during the day napping. But now at work my concentration is slowly dipping. It's getting harder to remember things, like names, of people and drugs. I'll start doing something and then get distrated and completely forget about it until hours later when I see it and think, oh! That's what I was doing! My body is getting sore from standing all day, running everywhere, leaning over at weird angles, lifting heavy animals. I'm trying to stimulate my brain as much as I can but there's only so much you can do cognitively as a vet nurse! Bah. And then I get home and all I'm capable of is either sleeping or watching crappy TV. It's even hard just to motivate myself to make something for dinner.
I'm seeing my specialist again next week, and I'm taking my mum so that I have someone there who will be able to remember all the stuff she tells me. I don't know how well this is working. I don't know if this is how I'm supposed to feel. Is this what it's going to be like for the rest of my life?? Crappy concentration, weird sleeping habits, forgetfulness? Will my brain ever be reliable again?